In which she rambles, a lot.

Hello interwebs, I've had some blogological issues lately. Mostly because I've been trying to be a responsible person. I've been trying to get to bed at a reasonable time, midnight-ish - which actually does me a ton of good. The problem: I write at night. Ergo I blog at night. Yeah, and those have been short lately, so me no writey.
But I met up with a new acquaintance with very reasonable friend potential (I think we hit it off) and we talked about writing which made me realise: damn, I haven't been doing that. At all. In a long time. I even have blog laziness. It's not the lack of ideas; I've had about a million and one these past weeks, but I'd have to get it all in order and my mind's a mess, really. Plus there's that issue with nights being in short supply around here.

side note: the 21-year old me, the one that wasn't old and married, would stay up nights, write frantically until dawn or chat to other insomniac friends online while listening to music. But that 21-year old chick didn't get a hangover feeling in the morning just by staying up past her bedtime sans alcohol. This almost-27-year-old does, however; and it ain't pretty.

But since I've already passed my reasonable-bedtime by mindless websurfing I might as well do something useful. Like give an update.

I got a lot better these past weeks. And then I got worse again. My old habits got the better of me. For the past two weeks I've had something (from doctor's appointments to social things to simply running errands) every fucking day and it's been getting to me. I have to make a conscious effort to slow down in order to avoid that train right back to burn-out-ville. Which of course keeps me from getting things done. Which I really can't handle all that well, being the fucked up control freak that I am. So there's that.

Also, I have noticed an increased amount of man-crushes of mine lately. There's David Tennant for one, who I've been absolutely drooling over in Doctor Who and Single Father. (Seriously, that ass!) I have also bookmarked a shitload of Jack/Ianto FanFic. And I notice men (the real kind too, not just on TV), which I also haven't done in ages. It's sort of interesting, that part of my sexuality and sexual identity that I am still figuring out after all these years. I mean, I've been straight and bi and gay a couple of times before realising that no label really fits; I've been in a relationship with the woman who is undoubtedly the love of my life for 5 1/2 years; I haven't slept with a guy in more than seven (!) years and haven't met one that interested me on a deeper level way longer than that; and yet I still find myself looking at men again "like that" suddenly or not so suddenly. Kinsey would've had some fun with me. Strictly academically, I mean. Although... ;)

In other (very short) news:

  • I'm pure and utter chaos, immovable object style. It has yet to encounter the unstoppable object of discipline.
  • Therapy can be a bitch!
  • I've been starting to work on some projects (most of them are only in my head as of now, but at least one is real)
  • One of the real projects is a webseries I have slyly snuck into to hone my camera, editing and maybe writing skills har har
  • I miss my dad, more again lately, it must be because of Christmas being around the corner
  • I've been trying to make an effort of meeting new people, to turn mere acquaintances into something stronger if it has the potential. Even if it means making the scary move of initiating communication (look at me being all outgoing with my diploma in communication haha and so graceful even! )
  • I'm going to have to have my frenulum (lower lip) sliced up and elongated. Apparently a pretty painless, fast procedure but I'm still not too happy about it of course.
  • I'm working on losing weight (a "diet" that basically consists of simply not overeating. Mindshatteringly revolutionary, isn't it?)
  • I've been playing a lot of Splinter Cell: Conviction.
  • I'm still looking for a new apartment for us. Bigger, better, awesomer. Yeah, try finding that...
  • I suddenly got very tired *yawn*
I've probably forgotten about a load of topics again, but sleep is overwhelming. Brain shutting down.

1 comment:

  1. I can totally understand your David Tennant-crush. And Jack/Ianto, of course... :)

    But I think that it's probably only now because now you have the time and energy to get interested in other guys (and maybe also women ;). I know that it's that way for me - when I'm busy and/or depressed there's absolutely no-one who can rouse my interest. But when I have a little time on my hands...