This post could almost be by a non-damaged person

I could give you my "been meaning to blog" speech and all that yadda yadda but I'll leave my where-was-I post for another time. Right now let me just say that we've got a couple of miracles going on here right now.

1. we went out tonight

2. I had fun - pure, undamaged fun with no "oh shit, I just dropped my happy mask" moments

3. we stayed out late

4. and then didn't opt for a taxi but took the public transport/walking option home (there are people in public transport, so usually when it's late we always, infallibly go for taxi

I don't exactly know how it happened, but I really had no waning-strength-moments tonight, I was capable of coherent thoughts AND able to turn them into sentences that could be understood by others. I met a bunch of new people tonight, most of which I quite liked. So in my current way of life that makes me practically a social butterfly ;)

I almost don't care whether tonight I'll finally be able to sleep again. Almost...


Edit: I haven't managed to go to bed yet, be it because I'm scared of the inevitable seeming non-sleep, be it because I just needed to have this moment to myself (Finn is already in bed). It's getting light outside and I'm remembering all those nights I walked home - never really drunk, maybe a little tipsy - into the sunrise, sitting on my windowsill with a cup of tea. In fact, I think that is the best part of staying out late! I miss that. I'd do it a lot more often if it wasn't such a bitca for fucking with my sleep cycle. It's kind of hard to be a functioning part of society when you're nights become your days. But for now I'm okay sitting here with my cup of PG Tips, hearing the birds wake up, listening to a song and getting ready to crawl into bed with my sleeping wife.