Today I won. Or at least the new me won. I said "no" to something; a job/project opportunity to be exact. That may sound like nothing special but to me it is. There's a project I could be working on in late August and September, and as much as I'd like to I made the smarter choice this time.
The pro list is a lot longer than the con list:
- Yes, it would bring in some cash.
- Yes, I'd probably have fun doing it.
- Yes, it would be a good kick-off for our company, that we're planning to start (we originally planned to take off later in 2010).
- Yes, we could probably prove ourselves worthy and get more jobs based on that project.
BUT
- I am still not well.
And I have an inkling that I will not be well two weeks from now. Considering that I can't muster the strength to get up before noon I actually highly doubt that I'll be able to pull off a PR and Social Media Campaign 14 lousy days from now. Hell, I don't even know if I'll get to that point by November!
So I made the hard choice of saying no to an opportunity. I don't think I've done that before, ever. I'm the type of person that always always takes opportunities, because, hey! It's and opportunity. I never considered my health in these choices. If it meant I would have to work myself into the ground for a couple of weeks that never fazed me. So what if it exhausted me - it was still an opportunity and those had to be taken.
My dirty little secret is that I felt really good after declining the offer. I had been mulling it over for some time now and it worried me, put pressure on me. It would have put a serious dent in my R&R time. The moment I had carried out my decision I felt free, like I had my almost-lost time back.
I've begun to understand that time is mostly what I need. Time to get rid of this exhaustion that is pinning me down. Time to work on my issues. Time to learn to listen to what my body says, even if it's a "no".
