growing up in relationships

"In marriage it’s not an agreement to do life with the person they are on your wedding day, it’s a decision to marry who they are then, who they are now and who they will be."*

I read a lot of blogs, I do. And sometimes I stumble over those "life changing blogposts", the ones that deal with something big and thoughtful and massively educational. Like Beth's blog about depression more than a year ago (I hope the link works, I am sitting behind the world's stupidest firewall so I can't check it). Those blog posts are fantastic. Huge. Sometimes life-changing.

And then even more rarely there will be an inconspicous looking blogpost, something very "every day" or "by the way" and I'll be expecting nothing in particular, yet it turns out that it makes those lovely little specks of observations that have have an impact on me nonetheless. Not because they teach me something or are a huge revelation but because they come so close to my own truths and feelings. I smile, I nod, I relate. And those blog posts, as inconspicuous as they may seem, make plunging through the mountain of unreadness that is my feedreader so worth the while.

I've been reading Not Without Salt for a short while only but I always enjoy her "dating my husband" posts - not that Finn and I ever manage to properly do that but it makes me happy that some couples manage to. I like those posts.

This time however something really caught me eye:

"We were so young when we married. Wise enough to choose to spend the rest of our lives together but yet too young to know who we were. While that route may not be for everyone I am so glad that Gabe and I have grown up together."*

I particularly noticed this because it seems very similar to my own relationship. We met young and came to love each other rather quickly and steadfastedly. But let's be honest, we had no idea who the other person would become later on because we had no idea how each of us ourselves would turn out.  But the willingness to give each other room to grow and figure out how to grow up together has gotten us through some pretty shitty stuff.

I don't really know many couples like us. Most that get together young eventually break up, those that have been together for as long as we are, are quite a bit older than us. It's simply nice to read blog posts that I can relate to, a blog post that embraces the changes in a relationship so eloquently.


origin of quotes: Not Without Salt